Squeeze the Juice

Today, is my birthday. It is also French Bastille Day, and the birthday of the excellent author Kevin Emerson (EXILED), so happy birthday to him, me, and whatever the French are celebrating. The quote today, “squeeze the juice” is from Encino Man, which I never really watched, but Dylan has been quoting for weeks. “Time to squeeze the ju-uuce! No, no squeezing the juice! Squeeze the juice.” I don’t even know what the juice is, let alone if one should or should not squeeze it.

I don’t want to work today. So I may have gotten bored and updated my Goodreads biography using lyrics from 80’s and 90’s sitcom theme songs. I really wanted to get The Golden Girls in there, possibly the lines “traveled down the road and back again” but I couldn’t manage it. I did however, manage seven others, and that’s not too shabby.

The Mortal Gods tour is pretty much finalized, and I will be in NYC, Chicago, Lansing, Michigan, St. Paul, MN, Los Altos, CA, Portland, OR, Lake Forest Park, WA, and Baton Rouge, LA for sure. A few more stops may be added.

When I return from the road, there should be a new, Doberman baby waiting for me. We just heard from the breeder following an ultrasound, and our new dog-daughter or son on her or his way. I miss being a dog parent very much. Way back in the day, while my atrocious boyfriend was out wherever doing atrocious things, my dog-daughter and I used to sit home and drink wine (me, not her. Too young.) and read philosophy. I highly recommend drinking wine and reading philosophy with your dog. It’ll turn you into a guru for two hours.

You can do it with cats, but they’re already mainlining the truth of the universe like little Rustin Cohles, so instead of being encouraging they look at you like you’re a slightly lackluster infant.

Anyway, soon-to-be-no-longer-secret project 3B calls.

Stuff I’m reading: The Ape’s Wife and Other Stories by Caitlin R. Kiernan (read “Hydraguros” yesterday. Excellent.) And BETWEEN THE SPARK AND THE BURN by April Genevieve Tucholke. Fantastic so far.

8 thoughts on “Squeeze the Juice

  1. Happy Birthday!! How exciting about the pup 🙂 I can’t wait for you to post puppy pictures. Enjoy your day!

  2. Happy Birthday!!! My birthday is Sunday, the 20th! Never knew our birthdays were so close.
    YAY NYC!! I live in MA, so I’m going to try real hard to make it over to NYC to finally meet you! Can’t wait to see when the tour dates are!
    Enjoy your birthday, Kendare!

  3. Happy (belated) birthday! I have to go check out your GR biography now…I’ll just bet it’s epic in its awesomeness. 🙂 I want to see puppy pics of you with the pup drinking wine (you, not him/her…way too young, obvs) and reading philosophy (both of you…you’re never too young to be a guru). Also, enjoy Between the Spark and the Burn. It’s equally as fantastic as the first book. 🙂

  4. Carina Olsen says:

    I wrote to you on twitter; but; hope you had an amazing birthday 😀 Hih. <3 And omg. SO excited about you getting a dog 😀 I cannot wait to see pictures. <3

  5. Nejma says:

    hope you had/are having a wonderful birthday.
    I emailed you a while back about your tour and I am exited to hear that you will be making it to the california area. I hope you will be close enough for me to meet you.

  6. Hannah J says:

    Happy belated birthday, soon-to-be dog mommy! 😀

  7. cnd says:

    Happy Birthday!!! Hope you had fun on your special day! and me too, I miss being a dog parent… Had to say goodbye to my baby of sixteen years, still find myself looking for him…

    “A few more stops may be added.” I really hope you have a stop in the Los Angeles area!!! Love your work!

    1. Kendare Blake says:

      Thank you! Sorry to hear about your dog loss. Alas, I don’t think I’m stopping in Los Angeles this year. Boo!

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